Drunk driving has been a time honored tradition here in the Ohio valley for some ....however long cars have existed. If you gain any modicum of fame, a drunk driving conviction is a no-brainer. From politicians to athletes to politicians to...um, athletes, this is the scandal du jour.
My father in law regails me with tales of his Lake county youth(having the cops follow him home to make sure he got there, ramping cars in the woods high on thc, towing other cars with a rope). It seemed like it wasn't such a big deal back then. Cars were built stronger, roads were less crowded and more people were drunk, hence going limp and surviving crashes. But as I grew up in the Reagan 80's, drunk driving became a huge no no. I guess too many honors students were getting killed then. Is it just me, or do they attract drunk drivers into hitting them? You never hear of a degenerate gambler/deadbeat dad getting plowed by a drunk. Quit being honors students!
My prefered hour to drunk drive is around 9 am. I work third shift, so this is very doable. Most normal citizens are at work, so the cops aren't checking for the dude in a giant Chrysler swerving all over the shoreway. They figure it's some old person. And who really wants to stop and smell one of them that early in the morning? Admittedly, doing anything is better when drunk. Laundry, yardwork, flying, legislating, teaching... Here are some famous drunk drivers from Cleveland:
Shin Soo Choo. Cleveland Indian. Someone spiked his Gatorade, I swear!
Hanford Dixon. Cleveland Browns legend. Busted while eating chicken wings while driving(is that a separate charge?). He is now coach of the Cleveland lingerie league team(a whole other WWBT post in itself).
Former Brook Park mayor Tom Coyne. He was once found on a treelawn with his pants around his ankles, completely incoherent. Sounds like congressional material to me.
Donte Stallworth. Browns wide receiver who actually killed a guy in Miami by running him over. He plead " my bad". At least he hit a target, unlike other drunk driving Browns' wideout Braylon Edwards(who was a New York Jet when he got busted).
Sportscaster Chuck Galeti. Good guy. I like him. He likes liquor.
Don't judge.
Morning radio jock and former channel 43 prize movie host, John Lanigan.
Got busted driving home from Dave and Buster's. Most embarrassing? He was at Dave and Buster's.
Cleveland city councilman Zack Reed. Loved to party in the Warehouse District, then drive home wondering "where's my house? piss. drink." Caught stopped at a light with the car running and his foot on the brake. He later atoned by passing the nonsensical No texting while driving law. Which I break daily.
Lastly, who can forget LeBron James' teammate boffing mom, Gloria? The lady likes a cocktail. Recently busted in Miami for attacking a valet. Shit. It was either tip the guy two bucks, or use it to buy a King Cobra 40 ounce on the way home. I don't blame her.
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