Murdering Milfs: Hot or Not

 I feel like the blog has gotten away from its true roots of disgusting behavior and tasteless commentary. In order to redeem myself, I latch on to the current hot topic sure to offend most people with children- mothers who kill their babies. And how they rate on a scale of hotness.

Susan Smith initially claimed a black fellow had carjacked her and taken her kids away to star in a UPN sitcom. This later proved false when she admitted to drowning them in said car. Hotness: 4. Not very attractive, but the crazy makes her a wee bit hot. I dig the glasses and creative storytelling.

 Andrea Yates drowned her FIVE kids in her bath tub due to post partum depression. Okay, after the first two I could see post partum maybe working as a defense, but FIVE? You finally got it after the fifth kid? She was from Texas which I think is a better defense in itself. Everyone from Texas is somewhat crazy. Hotness: 2. I appreciate that she was very involved in her kids' cleanliness, if a bit too much so. But that hair? That's a crime in itself.

 The current postergirl for murderous moms, Casey Anthony. Still on trial and the inspiration for this post. Hotness: a solid 7. Maybe even an 8. Has there ever been a prettier young lady on trial for babycide? Doubt it. We still don't know if she really did it. The jury could pull an OJ and completely disregard the evidence and declare her not guilty. But did she ever appear in Hertz commercials or Naked Gun movies? No. Godspeed Casey. Your only hope is your angelic face and Mormon inspired trial wardrobe.

Bavmorda, the evil queen from the movie Willow, tried to kill an infant prophecized to be the new queen as well as her own daughter Sorsha(played by the impossibly hot Melanie Mayron). She failed, so she doesn't really score points for getting the job done. Plus she was old and wore a horrible getup. She was pretty fucking evil however. Seeing as how she could maybe shapeshift and turn herself into a half naked extra from Conan the Barbarian, I will give her a 5.

 

Last is Medina, Ohio's own Audrey Iacona. This was a huge case around these parts back when I was in high school. She gave birth to a child on a WEIGHT BENCH then promptly suffocated the lil tike in a plastic bag. I have no confirmed pic of this former cheerleader, so the accompanying image will have to suffice. Seeing as how she was a cheerleader, she must at least rate a 7 or more. Her trial inspired my friend HogWild's college radio parody of Rare Earth's "I Just Want to Celebrate" titled " I Just Want to Incinerate(incinerate my baby)".

I'm sure there are scores of other cases in this vein, but these are the ones that really stand out to me. None of these women are as hot as female teachers who boink their students, but they went the extra mile over the cliff of crazy and actually took human life. Say what you want about housewives, but when properly motivated, they can accomplish tremendous feats that go down in history. While looking somewhat F-able at the same time. Wish I had written this on Mother's Day.