Perverseverse

 So I broke my smartphone the other night. Don't ask, my temper tantrums alone could fill a whole other blog. So I was forced to take up an old hobby at work last night. Drawing pervy surrealist landscapes. You might remember some I posted last year.





The recurring themes seemed to be pregnancy, bananas, octopi, winged things, shemales, Easter and basketball.


Work of Art, I await your call to be on your show. Is 35 to old to make it?

  

Sector 7 G Revisited aka Holy Shinto!

Today I watched a Frontline special on the anniversary of the Fukushima nuclear disaster and its, bad joke alert, fallout. The main points that were expressed were: it wasn't as deadly as predicted, Japanese people are way into their jobs(even if that includes suicide missions into reactor cores), and tsunamis are always a bad thing. In fact this blog started around the time Gilbert Gottfried tweeted insensitive jokes about said disaster, causing him to be sacked as the AFLAC spokesvoice. He has rebounded to some extent, and so has Japan.

 The country was not thrown into complete economic collapse(you can thank the American banks for that). Our supply of Hello Kitty products was not hindered in any way. And luckily, Matthew Broderick did not star in a sequel to the horrible modern Godzilla movie, perhaps out of consideration for the plight of the Japanese people. You know, those people with cel phones light years ahead of ours, a standard of living light years ahead of ours, superior game shows that we rip off, and way better cars. Admit it, they had it coming. These perverse, anime porn watching bullet train riders flaunted their superiority to the western world(home of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and taco flavored Doritos) and were due for an atomic come- uppance.

Of course, such a calamity never occurred. In their true die hard work ethic/ sense of right over wrong/ efficient management of public works, they headed off the potential Three Mile Spicy Tuna Roll of doom and prevailed with limited casualties and complete breakdown of civilization. Good luck when that happens in Tennessee. What I'm trying to say is I really admire the way they handled their shit. Despite naysaying from the media abroad, they came out of this relatively unscathed. Of course, they could just be covering up the hordes of irradiated mutant zombies that now prowl the Japanese countryside.

Even the Amazing Race still saw fit to send their upside down map wielding, brain dead contestants to Japan to perform some idiotic task, like making ten pounds of soba noodles using only a wooden spoon and a rolling pin shaped liked the Buddha to this hallowed home of Nintendo. Tune in later this season to see that.

If anything, the only dangerous green ooze that still pours out of that country is wasabi. You ever eat that shit? I bet that's what radiation poisoning feels like.