As the election draws ever nearer, I am reminded just how unfit the American public is to pick the leader of the free world. These people, of Jay Leno viewership and Coors consumption, are the last people who should be charged with such an important task. Just look at some of the other brain dead decisions they've made:
Skinny Elvis on the US Postal Service stamp. Come on. We all know fat Elvis is the REAL Elvis. Pill popping, banana sandwich eating, tv shooting fat Elvis. You blew it, America.
The Artist gets the Oscar. While not left to the public, but their Hollywood delegates, this is still a joke. A silent movie, seriously? The best part of watching movies is listening to them while you steal music and porn on the web. I'm not going to peel my eyes away from hot goth baby sitters bouncing on fat old men just to read subtitles from a movie where French dudes tap dance to swing music.
Taylor Hicks.
Kasich. Ohio elects this drunken Wall Street has been as governor? Sure Strickland was a dope, but this is the best we can do? The man can hardly make it through a budget meeting without reaching for his flask full of Kentucky bourbon and Dr. Pepper. Don't be surprised if this lying sot needs a liver transplant next year. He'll probably make it a state law that everyone has to get blood tested just so he can find an appropriate match. He's the worst thing to happen to Ohio since the west Nile virus.
A-Rod selected for any all star game after 2002. This roided up underachiever is the ugliest thing to ever strap on a batting glove. He LIED to Katie Couric's face about taking steroids. You don't lie to Katie. Plus, he looks like a rotten farmer's market brown egg. I also hate Derek Jeter, but at least Jeter shows up in October. Bronx Bomber? I think not. How about East River Floater?
Getting back to American Idol, how do you not vote for this guy? He was a national treasure in the making. Clearly, America is not up to the task of choosing anything other than what NASCAR t-shirt they are going to wear on election day. JUST STAY HOME!!
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