Saturday, April 9, 2011

Goofing On...Coworkers

So I have this really smug, antisocial new "colleague" at work. He thinks he's somehow my superior and writes me condescending memos that assume I'm barely literate. Truth is he's not my superior, job-wise or intellectually. Well, I guess everyone hates him and it's getting to him. I discovered a note he had written to, I assume, my crew and me. But it reads like a diary entry. He writes," I'm only 22, but I have a system and I think it can work here." I've complained that he never has to work Saturdays even though all full timers are required to work some Saturdays. His note goes on," I am not available weekends because I run a historical society with my parents." Go ahead, let that one sink in.

What kind of nerd loser douche spazz has that going on, let alone admit to it! "Hey baby, ever make it with a guy wearing George Washington's teeth?" We rip on him mercilessly now(behind his back, but within earshot). How do you give people who already don't respect you that kind of ammo? He probably online chats with girls while wearing a Civil War uniform or just a coonskin cap while he "packs his musket". And he runs it with his parents! "Mom, can I punch out and go eat by myself at a diner like the loser I am?" "Not until you've dusted off Abe Lincoln, sweetie. Here, this johnnycake will tide you over." I almost pity him. Maybe I should save all his memos for the Smithsonian.

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